Breckenridge - Women's Retreat

wow, it’s been an amazing day already and it’s only 6:30!  Last Monday, I went to painting class and Neil said to me:  “You need to go on the Women’s Retreat this weekend.” And I asked how much it was - $165 – and I said I didn’t have that.  He arranged from the church for me to go for free!   Awesome!  A trip to Breckenridge!  God definitely sent me here and I’m for sure to minister to others AS WELL AS receive.  At first, I thought I was getting a vacation!  William and I talked about that this morning – how we’ve been both holding back and not doing what we’re supposed to do completely – to do the work we’ve been called to do.  I admitted this morning how I know I was not putting out the effort I needed to in spending time in God’s presence and being out there willing to put myself out on a limb, but rather, sitting under William’s shadow.

We had animals coming out our walls!

I see more now how I have to be ready to minister to others at a moment’s notice and there is no vacation from that.  On the ride up here, I rode with three others and I got to talking about spiritual warfare, deliverance ministry (told of my past) and already on the car ride, had a wonderful time ministering to one who’s in financial crisis, multiple health issues and how the enemy is trying to stop her because she has a music ministry – as she puts it, the ability to enter into the throne room as soon as she starts singing praise and worship – how cool is that!  She moved up here from Texas recently and they have had difficulty in finding steady work.  She was discussing her health issues, including how she has this pinched nerve that the Drs say the only way to fix it is to do surgery and that has a high risk of taking away her voice.  I immediately saw the correlation right away where this is the work of the enemy and that God wants total healing for her.  One of the other ladies is a powerful prayer intercessor and has fine spiritual discernment and she caught the same thing at the same time.  Now, this lady from Texas totally agrees and believes God can heal her – so we prayed together, but I told her we needed to get together sometime this weekend to really look over the word and pray specifically on this.  Now, the third lady really listened the entire time and asked a few questions, then toward the end, really thanked me for sharing and confirming that what I was saying she really needed to hear as well.  All in all, it was a wonderful 2+ hour car ride - beautiful scenery as well!

11 pm – wow, what an intense time.  I have to keep God at the center of every thought and every word, because the enemy is really trying to hijack me.  There is a lady who really attached herself to me this afternoon after we got to Breckenridge.  She has a lot of issues and has been homeless and tormented by multiple demons – fear, anxiety, confusion.  She’s all over the map emotionally, spiritually; however, she does know God and claims Jesus as her savior – that’s a big plus!   We had somewhere to start – Jesus – I sat for quite some time talking with her about how she needs to claim the Word for what it says – we discussed multiple passages about how she sees herself vs how God sees her.  I also got specific with her as to how to use the Word as a sword against the enemy, about speaking the Word aloud, like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, (Phil 4:13)” and “I have the mind of Christ, (1 Cor. 2:16)” and “Take every thought captive, (2 Cor. 10:5)” etc. and etc.  She really attached to me and that sort of side-tracked me throughout the rest of the evening.  Because of her codependency, fear issues, divisive spirit and attitude AND because of a personality clash (familiar spirits) and having many issues with her room mates, I ended up swapping rooms with her at 10 pm.  I could see how this would be a better solution so she could calm down, and that everyone might have a better weekend.  Of course, I tend to have this problem of wanting to solve everyone’s problems, be the people pleaser, etc. so I started to feel myself get pulled into all the dynamics of everything.  I had to purposely pull myself away, just swap rooms, and pray that it would all work out.

It ended up being a pretty wild day.  I’m amazed at how God is using me, but also amazed and blessed at how God is ministering to me.  This whole retreat’s theme is “Beautiful God” and the speaker comes from a perfectionistic, workaholic  background based on identity – striving for acceptance through how she looked – all about self-esteem and how we look at ourselves.  She is an actress, Nancy Stafford, and was quite popular in the 80’s and 90’s in regular TV and some movies, but lately, she’s been doing a lot of Faith based productions.  The topic is one I thoroughly covered back in the 90’s when I was going through immense healing from my past, but even so, I’m still dealing with some of that stuff – not nearly as bad as I used to be, but still have a bit of a residue to deal with.  I am so glad that God looks at the heart and that is what is most important – we all have issues with self-esteem in one way or another –and God wants to heal all of them.  What is speaking to us on a daily basis (the enemy) trying to remind us of where we were and get us back into the old patterns – I have to continually watch that.  I want to be totally set free from hating how I look, hating how I perceive myself (not good looking enough, not skinny enough, etc.)  I want to finally be set completely free from those things so I do need time alone with God for Him to work on me.  I am reminded of my life verse Joel 2:25-26 “I will restore the years the locust have eaten … you will eat in plenty and be satisfied [not just physical food but spiritual as well] and praise the name of the Lord your God who has dealt wondrously with you and my people shall never be put to shame.”  As I was telling others today, how God really did answer my prayers with not just the first part of that verse, but v. 26 as well – He has dealt wondrously with me and I am so blessed!